The Workbook

A companion to Exposed but Not Abandoned. Everything you write here stays on this device in your browser; nothing is sent anywhere. Use Export to save a copy, Print for paper, and come back as often as the Philistines do.

How to use this workbook

Read a chapter, then come here. Each chapter has the same three parts the book ends with: In the Mirror (questions to answer honestly), One Faithful Step (one small thing to do this week), and an Ebenezer Log entry. Two tools sit outside the chapters because you will use them for the rest of your life: the Six Questions, for the moment pressure arrives, and the Log, for remembering how God helped.

One rule, kept all the way through: the Philistine is the pressure, never the person. If you catch yourself writing someone’s name where a pattern should be, that is the mirror facing the wrong way.

If you are in a relationship where you are being controlled, threatened, or hurt, the workbook is not your first step. Appendix C in the book is. In the U.S., the National Domestic Violence Hotline is 1-800-799-7233 (text START to 88788); call or text 988 in a crisis.

The sentence shame says to you

Chapter 4 names five. Which one is yours? Write it in its exact words below.

My reaction invalidates my faith. I should be further along by now. This is who I am, and there is no coming back. God must be so disappointed in me. If people knew, they would leave.

In my own words

And the grace sentence I will say instead

Your pressure signature

From Chapter 5. Mark the two or three responses that are yours, then order them: first, second, last resort. That sequence is your signature. You will see it coming from three responses away once you know it.

We panic when control is threatened. We compromise when acceptance feels uncertain. We become aggressive when we feel powerless. We withdraw when confrontation is necessary. We use spirituality to avoid emotional truth. We depend on people to regulate our identity. We retaliate when misunderstood. We abandon boundaries to prevent rejection.

My signature, in one line (for example: fold, then freeze, then fire)

How old was I when I learned the first one, and who was I protecting myself from?

Who does it cost now?

This part is in the full workbook

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This part is in the full workbook

You are reading the free preview. The full workbook unlocks all 159 things to fill in, the tools and the progress tracker — and saves every answer to your account.

Unlock the full workbook — $14

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This part is in the full workbook

You are reading the free preview. The full workbook unlocks all 159 things to fill in, the tools and the progress tracker — and saves every answer to your account.

Unlock the full workbook — $14

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Save, restore, print

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