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Cover of Use Me by Dr. Donetta D. Quinones — the book this course is built from

Self-paced course · Book Four of the Objectification Series

Access and Abiding: A Course on the Prayer We All Mean

Access is not intimacy.

12modules 11 hrsat your own pace 120flashcards 120quiz questions

Dr. Donetta D. Quinones, PhD, LMHC, LPC · GraceRoot Relationship Healing Institute

Who this is for

If you pray, and have been praying a long time, and have noticed a gap between how much you know about God and how much you would say you know Him — this course is for you. It is for the volunteer at six-forty on a Sunday, the person who prays fluently for other people, and the reader who finds a room with no task in it harder than a room with one.

No background in psychology is assumed, and you do not have to have read the book to take the course.

The promiseBy the end of this course you can explain, in ordinary words and to somebody who has not read the book, what spiritual objectification is, how access differs from abiding, and why the four realms are a description of where a person is standing rather than a ranking of anybody.
  • Define spiritual objectification in one plain sentence, so you can recognize it somewhere ordinary and not only in a pulpit.
  • Name the six things people go to God for, so you can tell wanting one of them from Him from wanting it instead of Him.
  • Work the difference between access and abiding, so you can see which one your week is actually built around.
  • Use the four realms as a description of where a person is standing rather than a ranking of anybody, so you can stop scoring yourself and other people.
  • Notice when usefulness has quietly become identity, so you can keep serving without needing it to tell you who you are.

What you will be able to do

  • By the end of this course, you will be able to define spiritual objectification in one plain sentence and give an example from ordinary life that has nothing to do with God.
  • By the end of this course, you will be able to name the six things people go to God for, and distinguish wanting one of them from Him from wanting it instead of Him.
  • By the end of this course, you will be able to describe the four realms — Awareness, Transaction, Participation, Presence — and explain why they are not ranks and why nobody graduates from one.
  • By the end of this course, you will be able to distinguish conviction from condemnation by their grammar, and apply that test to a sentence you hear about yourself.
  • By the end of this course, you will be able to trace the argument of the five prophets this book works through, and explain what each one adds to the difference between access and abiding.

Why trust it

Dr. Donetta D. Quinones, PhD, LMHC, LPC is a licensed mental health counselor and licensed professional counselor, a certified Human Behavior Consultant, and the founder of GraceRoot Relationship Healing Institute. This course is built from her book Use Me: Spiritual Objectification, and the Difference Between Access and Abiding, one module per chapter, in the book's order.

The teaching is trauma-informed and plain-spoken. Every person and scene in the course is a fictional composite. Nothing here is a diagnostic instrument, and no arrangement of answers — none, in any combination — produces a finding about you or about anybody you know.

The twelve modules

One module per chapter of the book. Each takes between thirty-five minutes and an hour, and each is built the same way: a short opening scene, three to five terms defined in ordinary words, the teaching itself, a worked example you watch, a half-finished example you complete, and one small practice you can do alone this week.

01Use Me
What the prayer is actually asking for
45 min
02Access Is Not Intimacy
What the torn curtain left undone
50 min
03Four Rooms, and Who Is Already Inside
The four realms, and who moved first
55 min
04The Machinery Was Working
Amos, and worship that was correct and sincere
55 min
05What He Actually Requires
A ladder of offers, and an unpurchasable answer
55 min
06When Usefulness Becomes Identity
Authority, correction, and what Micah did instead
60 min
07The God They Would Prefer
Managing the message instead of ourselves
55 min
08Doing the Work and Hating the Outcome
Jonah, and the failure no outcome reveals
55 min
09Standing on the Ridge
Obadiah, the bystander, and eight steps
50 min
10Idols That Cannot Answer
The cistern, the specification, and the elders
55 min
11Exposure, Reckoning, and a New Heart
Ezekiel, and being stopped rather than ended
60 min
12If Your Presence Will Not Go
Abiding, the offer, and the prayer again
60 min

Format & what you get

  • Twelve self-paced modules — about 11 hrs in total, retakable and revisitable as long as you have access.
  • 120 flashcards and 120 comprehension questions, ten of each per module, with an explanation of why each answer lands where it does.
  • Written reflection built into every module, with Download, Print, Backup and Restore tools in the course toolbar.
  • Everything you type stays in your own browser, on your own device. It is never sent to the author or to any server.
  • Nothing is timed, nothing accumulates against you, and no quiz ever produces a finding about you.

Price

$149

One payment. Self-paced, revisit any time, and questions go to support@graceroot.institute.

Already a member — or thinking about it? This course is included in the Flourishing all-access membership ($99/mo) and the À-la-carte plan (pick any 6 courses, $49/mo), instead of paying $149 for this one. See membership options →

Questions people actually ask

Is this course going to tell me to stop serving?

No. It is about what serving is resting on. The course does not treat usefulness as the problem; it treats usefulness quietly becoming an identity as the thing worth noticing.

Is this a Bible study?

It is a course, and it is explicitly faith-integrated, working through material the book draws from the minor prophets. It is psychoeducation rather than spiritual direction, and it says so plainly.

Do I need to have read the book first?

No. The course stands on its own and follows the book's twelve chapters in order.

How much time does it take?

About 11 hours in total, in modules of 35 to 60 minutes, at your own pace.

Where does my writing go?

Into your own browser, on your own device, and nowhere else. Nothing you type is sent to the author or to any server.

Where This Stops

Access is not intimacy.

By the end of this course you can explain, in ordinary words and to somebody who has not read the book, what spiritual objectification is, how access differs from abiding, and why the four realms are a description of where a person is standing rather than a ranking of anybody.

Program Clarity

GraceRoot courses are psychoeducational learning programs, not emergency care, legal advice, or a replacement for therapy. Certificates document GraceRoot completion. Court, employer, board, or continuing education acceptance should be confirmed before purchase unless a page states a specific approval.